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Jealousy

Here are the questions filed under this category. To read Ken's advice on any item, click on the link "Read Ken's Answer."


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I work in residential real estate sales, and after my partner and I closed a very substantial deal, he gave me an expensive necklace. When my husband saw it, he became upset and said that it was inappropriate and I should give it back. I want to keep it. What do you suggest?
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When I receive awards from the company, I put them up in my office, just like most people here do. One person I work with came into my office and said that people who truly accomplish something at work don't need to put awards on their walls. He said I am doing it for my ego. What do you make of his comments?
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My manager gives me compliments about my work whenever I see him, especially in meetings and in front of my co-workers. I work hard and take pride in my work, but I'm a little embarrassed by all of this attention, and some of my co-workers have made comments about it. What should I say to my manager about these compliments?
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I work in a bank, and some of the other women I work with claim that I flirt with the male customers. I'm friendly to all the customers, and I resent being called a flirt. How can I change this false image of me?
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It's very apparent to everyone that our manager shows favoritism toward me. While I have no problem with this, the issue is that my friends are giving me a bad time about it. How do I handle them?
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I try to volunteer for as much work and as many committees as I possible can. I enjoy doing this type of work, and I know it helps improve my marketability. Several of my fellow employees have said that I am doing this just to get in good with management, and now they hardly ever talk to me. Is there a way to deal with this?
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For the past 3/4 months I have been having issues with a new lady at the office, we used to be friends and without any falling out or fight just drifted apart. I noticed this and to avoid any negativity I addressed this with her, I thought everything was fine. About a month after this discussion I started noticing that she 'forgot' discussions we had had, to the point where I lost my temper (I apologized to everyone the next day). Her excuse was that nothing was 'formalized' in email. While we have always been a very informal workplace I have attempted to 'formalize' all my arrangements from then on. She has now bonded with another lady at the office, to the point that even the upper management is commenting on the fact that they can't pee without each other. It seems that the 2 of them are purposefully excluding me from conversations about projects that I am in charge of, and last week she submitted formal documentation about a project that I participated in without listing me on it at all. I found these documents in the printer room of the office. I know if I confront her about it she will have 'forgotten'. She leaves me to pick up projects that she 'just doesn't have time for' but barely puts in 6 hours a day at the office. I have spoke to my direct manager about this, and she is sympathetic, but seems to be unable to do anything. Our line manager is aware of the situation and offered to step in, but I am hesitant to involve him in something so petty - I am afraid that it will damage my reputation. I don't know what to do any more, the situation is so tense that my health is starting to suffer. I am 10 years her junior and more valuable to the company, if it is jealousy what can I do? Should I escalate this further? I love my job but am seriously considering packing my bags if this continues. Please help!
Read Ken's Answer

For the past 3/4 months I have been having issues with a new lady at the office, we used to be friends and without any falling out or fight just drifted apart. I noticed this and to avoid any negativity I addressed this with her, I thought everything was fine. About a month after this discussion I started noticing that she 'forgot' discussions we had had, to the point where I lost my temper (I apologized to everyone the next day). Her excuse was that nothing was 'formalized' in email. While we have always been a very informal workplace I have attempted to 'formalize' all my arrangements from then on. She has now bonded with another lady at the office, to the point that even the upper management is commenting on the fact that they can't pee without each other. It seems that the 2 of them are purposefully excluding me from conversations about projects that I am in charge of, and last week she submitted formal documentation about a project that I participated in without listing me on it at all. I found these documents in the printer room of the office. I know if I confront her about it she will have 'forgotten'. She leaves me to pick up projects that she 'just doesn't have time for' but barely puts in 6 hours a day at the office. I have spoke to my direct manager about this, and she is sympathetic, but seems to be unable to do anything. Our line manager is aware of the situation and offered to step in, but I am hesitant to involve him in something so petty - I am afraid that it will damage my reputation. I don't know what to do any more, the situation is so tense that my health is starting to suffer. I am 10 years her junior and more valuable to the company, if it is jealousy what can I do? Should I escalate this further? I love my job but am seriously considering packing my bags if this continues. Please help!
Read Ken's Answer