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Power Plays and Players

I have a nickname that I was given as a kid. I like it and it's how I want to be addressed. Everyone uses it except my new manager who insists on calling me by my formal name. I've told him to use my nickname, but he won't. Can you help?



It is hard to understand why a new manager's first order of business would be to alienate one of his employees. Most new managers bend over backwards to build a positive relationship with all of the troops. Your manager seems bent on annoying them.

When managers engage in this type of behavior, it is often a power game. By calling you a name that you prefer not be used, he is trying to demonstrate that he is more powerful than you. One question to ask yourself is whether any aspect of your behavior or expertise may be threatening to him.

If this is in fact a power game, he may change his ways if he senses that you are not a threat or a challenge to him. When he assigns work, let him see that you are performing well above expectations and are clearly focused on the agreed-upon objectives.

As you build trust and respect in your relationship with him, you should continue to press your desire to be called by your preferred name. If he continues to ignore your request, then you should discuss the issue with someone else, namely his manager.



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