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Criticism Fairness Feedback Incompetence Listening

Today, my manager ripped me to shreds in front of an employee that I supervise and had to reprimand for

taking long breaks, an issue which my manager recently addressed with the whole dept.

After I spoke to the employee (as gently as possible), he ran to my supervisor describing my "abrasive and accusing"

remarks. My manager believes every word out of my employees mouth and then acts on these descriptions.

This employee has, for several months, been "getting in the ear" of my supervisor telling him things that are

going on within the department that are exaggerations and misrepresentations of the truth. He has effectively

manipulated my supervisor against me. Somehow, I'm now the mean, rotten supervisor while my employee is viewed as

the innocent victim.

I am being sent to management training now because, as he stated in front of my employee "my management technique stinks".

I would welcome the training more if it didn't seem like a punishment based on the "stories" of my employee.

This employee seems to have my supervisor wrapped around his little finger and I've noticed strong favoritism.

The beating and humiliation I took today is too much. My manager is far better equipped for confrontation than me.

I am a mild-mannered and easy going manager and I have good, friendly work relationships with 99.9% of people in

the building and, for 16 years, I've delivered and got things done well. My manager, who I recently found myself under due to a shuffle of departments, has a lot of management training and effectively backed me into an embarrassing and humiliating corner(all in front of my employee). I plan on trying to call a meeting with upper management to address what happened first thing tomorrow

morning. This will undoubtedly enrage my manager and I expect things could get worse.

My main complaint is that my manager ripped me to shreds in front of the employee I was trying to reprimand. All I said to my employee was "You took a half hour break today. Please keep it down to 15 minutes as company policy states." That's when he ran to my manager and all heck broke loose.

I'll take any advice or words of wisdom you can offer. Thank you very much for your time!


It’s ironic that your manager would send you to management training, as his skills in this area are marginal at best. After all, managers should not be ripping employees to shreds about anything. Feedback should be factual, performance-based, and businesslike. And further, employees should not be given negative feedback in front of an audience. While your manager is trying to demonstrate strength, all he is really demonstrating is incompetence.

His ineptitude is also demonstrated by his failure to listen to you before giving you feedback. His kneejerk reaction demonstrates more jerk than knee. However, you should not consider the training that you are receiving as punitive or remedial. Rather, go to the session with an open mind and consider discussing the material with your manager afterwards. Perhaps there will be some information about providing feedback that is worth reviewing with him.

In the meantime, as you suggested, a visit with senior management makes sense. Managers who engage in this type of abuse expose a company to myriad issues. A conversation with management just might help prevent them.



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