Get advice on how to deal with jerks at work Check out the book 'Jerks At Work' and other titles by Ken Lloyd Ph.D. Return to the JerksAtWork.com homepage Learn more about Ken Lloyd, Ph.D. Submit a question to Ken Lloyd, Ph.D.
 

You asked, Ken answers ...

This item is filed under these categories:
Bullies Insults Nastiness Condescending Treatment Inconsiderate Actions Owners Power Plays and Players

I am cannot stand my manager who happens to be an owner of the company. He can be friendly, but he can instantly become mean and insulting especially in front of others. Whenever I see his name on an email to me, or whenever he wants to see me, I feel nauseous. I have tried to talk to him, but I’m never comfortable. How do you deal with someone like this?



Your manager’s tendency to be mean and insult you, especially in front of others, is classic bullying. And the fact that he can occasionally be friendly makes this even more sinister. His moments of friendliness can drop the guard of unwary employees, and then his berating behaviors are even more hurtful.

It is actually more difficult to deal with people who run hot and cold than to deal with those who are generally one way or the other. When you do not know if you are going to be dealing with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, it is difficult to know how to prepare and how to react, whether it’s for a meeting or an email. As a result, you feel nauseous.

You are not going to stop this bully from being who and what he is. Nonetheless, you should act assertively and stand up for your beliefs, since bullies do not typically like to confront people who stand up to them, whether literally or figuratively.

You should also keep you eyes and your options open. Perhaps there is a transfer opportunity, or perhaps your network can help you net a better job.



Comment on this item

Your name (optional)
If you leave this blank, we'll list you as "Website visitor"


Your comments
Please keep your comments focused on the topic. Thanks!